Steering committee. The proposal was ready; everyone was just waiting for my nod.

Steering committee. The proposal was ready; everyone was just waiting for my nod.

I didn’t nod.

One question has stayed with me ever since:

As a consultant, am I there to endorse or to help shape?

Endorsing means backing decisions, carrying out assignments properly and stabilising the system. Comfortable for everyone.

Helping shape means disagreeing, bringing my own convictions and risking friction. Uncomfortable. Especially for me.

“That’s what I have my consultants for,” I often hear.

The sentence can provide relief: what consultants have recommended quickly looks like a decision for which nobody has to stand accountable alone.

Some therefore seek a consultant who not only helps shape things, but preferably takes over the decision as well. That creates a sense of security, while blurring who ultimately carries responsibility.

But shaping can be delegated. Responsibility cannot.

The honest answer: there is no either-or. It is a daily choice of position, made anew in every meeting.

That day reminded me:

Truly helping does not mean pleasing.

Edgar Schein called this approach “Humble Consulting”.

The decision came two weeks later than planned. But it was supported rather than merely nodded through, and has not needed to be made again since.

A consultant’s value shows not in how often they agree, but in when they disagree.

What do you expect from a consultant: endorsement, help in shaping things, or taking over a responsibility that must actually remain yours?

#Consulting #Leadership #Attitude